Flourishing Today

Have you ever started on a path, only to have some earth-changing information land in your lap? Not long ago, founder of EmpowermentQuest International, Kevin Cole, and myself started throwing around the idea of co-creating a workshop for women struggling with the increasing demands of a modern-day world and it’s impact on our happiness and relationships. We agreed to pool our resources and teach tools and strategies to make a difference.

Little did I know when I started this adventure, just how much more would come across my desk between then and now! Recently I was sent two articles about the shift in gender-related global power.. and what this means for the future of marriage, partnership, and woman’s role in the future of the world. It honestly rocked my world.

Because this stuff addresses a genocide-torn Rwanda becoming a post-genocide, woman-led government with one of the highest literacy rates in Africa and doing great things with public health and foreign policy, with the FULL support of the men.

Whether women know it or not, the collapse of an economy had thrown us a curve-ball. Please join Kevin and myself, July 11th in San Diego, to learn how and to learn what this means for our relationships, careers, and partnering with men. To register, please call 619-602-3633 or contact@empowermentquest.com Early Bird discount ends July 1st. Call for more information.

Looking forward to an amazing experience!

Those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it. Does this look familiar?

“[The subject was] the most important and divisive issue in 19th-century American politics and society…

Inspired by the language of the Declaration of Independence… many Americans—hoped that [it] could gradually be abolished in the United States.

Some became active and organized opponents [and] worked for its abolition nationwide. The states of New England, which had had the smallest populations… were the first to abolish it. Because of their calls for immediate action and an end to prejudice, abolitionists were the object of a great deal of criticism, ridicule, and even violence…becoming an active abolitionist required courage. Many had to face physical danger at the hands of a mob, but many more had to endure the disapproval of family and friends or the ridicule of neighbors.”

Or..

[that they are portrayed] as lascivious by nature is an enduring stereotype… often portrayed as innately promiscuous, even predatory.

…this and similar stereotypes [were used] to justify… In part, this was accomplished by arguing that [they] were subhumans: intellectually inferior, culturally stunted, morally underdeveloped, and animal-like sexually… racist and sexist ideologies [were used] to argue that they alone were civilized and rational, [these] others were barbaric and deserved to be subjugated.

How about:

…[they] are of this people then they are of the freemen, and a constituent part of this Commonwealth. . . . is a citizen of the United States and of the State in which [they] reside, in the constitutional and legal sense of the word citizen, is admitted by the learned judge. . .

..then, being a citizen, . . . “of this people and a constituent member of the sovereignty.” . . . therefore of the “freemen” contemplated by the Preamble to the Constitution of 1776. . . . The same synonymous and generic use of the words citizen, people, and freemen is continued throughout the Constitutions of 1776, 1790 and 1838. . . Any other construction would be in violation of established principles of law and of our National Constitution . . .

Considering how much of our lives take place over the computer and internet these days, it is amazing we ever see other human beings. So it is interesting what kinds of things we do (or don’t do) online, as opposed to “in person.”

For example: I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Naymz, LinkedIn, Biznik.. and others. Recently I opened up my Facebook to find 25 friend requests. While flattering, I realized I had NO idea who over half of these people are. Had I met them? Did they know me? How did they find me? What even attracted them to “friend” me? I imagine that if we’d met in person there would be that moment of introduction, shaking hands, and chatting about the event or who we might have in common.

Because of the fact I work so much online, with blogging, social media, and scheduling events and tele-classes for my business, it certainly seems beneficial to add these people as friends. But on the other hand, I had a moment of disconnect as I looked at these names. Who ARE these people? And… would it hurt to just take a moment as they “friended” me, to say hello and who they are?

Hi, I’m Kaye Porter, we met on my blog. Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re having a great week!

Warmly,
Kaye

Dear friends,

I had another post lined up, about life design.. how do you ask the questions that are going to give you the results you’re looking for… But that article got pulled when I learned this and I haven’t even taken the time to run this by an editor because it upset me so much:

A friend’s sister-in-law died from a disease based in adrenal-failure. Unfortunately this lines up with what I’ve been learning in my PAX Mastery & Leadership.. about how men and women operate differently - partly based on biology and partly based on society. Unfortunately the biological pieces aren’t being fixed by society unless we learn how to re-partner ourselves.

So I’m striking a match to see if I can shed some light, based on what has appeared. If we can play with this, maybe we can see something:

What if Men are biologically hunters; who are single focused and committed from result, to result- even though they learned to adapt to have more diffuse awareness, need zone time, and run by the needs of their environment without some of the tools to get those needs met.

Dear Friends,

Sorry I’m late getting this article to you. My computer is down and I’m borrowing my boyfriend’s. Let the be a lesson in backing up my data regularly, and off-site, right? But today isn’t about me or my computer. I recently got the opportunity to meet an amazing woman who loves what she does, and does it in a way that keeps it human and real. Isn’t it amazing to find people who love what they do AND make what they do accessible to the people who might actually NEED their services?

Don’t get me wrong. Paying $30,000 to go see Tony Robbins has its place. He IS Tony Robbins and he is 2nd generation Personal Development Guru after Werner H. Erhard and NLP founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder. But some 85% of the world’s population is trying to figure how they’re going to keep shoes on their kids - if they even have THAT much.

So when I meet someone like Marriage and Family Therapist, Dena Plotkin, who is world-class at what she does and keeps it affordable for those who really need her help.. I get that happy bubbling feeling inside. Because, dude, if you’re trying to crawl your way off the floor of life, you don’t need an insurance company telling whether they’re going to help you get helped, OR a bill for $30,000/hour on top of things.

So here is what Dena has to say, and thank god there is someone here willing to say it:

“Do you take insurance?”

Have you ever gotten in trouble or punished for something, and you had NO idea what you did wrong? It sucks, doesn’t it? In fact, if it happens often enough, don’t you get less and less inclined to co-operate with things in the future?

When people get in trouble like that, it is often because there is an assumption that someone is misbehaving. That the person both knows and is capable of doing what they should be doing, and for what ever reason they just chose not to. It is like if someone cuts us off in traffic, we think “What a jerk! They should have checked their blind spot.” But the thing is, that is WHY they call it a blind spot – because sometimes there are things happening in places we just can’t see.

So the question really is: what if people aren’t really misbehaving, but there is a good reason for why people do everything they do?

I once lost a friendship with someone I treasured. When we’d talk, we’d keep saying “Wow, we should really get together!” A couple months later, she wouldn’t return my calls, wouldn’t return my emails, and ignored me in social situations. 6 months later I found out from her boyfriend that she was no longer interested in having me as a friend, because I had never set a time or date for us to actually get together… and when she had been saying “We should get together sometime” I had been hearing as “Wow, our lives are really busy, I still care about you, so it would be cool if we could eventually have some more time to hang out again.” Instead of “I want you to set a time and date for us to hang out.” So, because that was a blind spot, I lost a friendship and had no idea why.

So, we do this in our lives with our friends, with our family, with our partners. We see someone who we think is misbehaving, and we push them away because we’re hurt. But we don’t think to ask ourselves; what if there is a really good reason for this, that I just don’t know?

We only have so much time on our little blue ball, known as Earth, and lately I have been working with the subject of death in the lives of my friends and community. In fact, one of my dear friends suffered the loss of his 32 yr-old daughter April 12th.

At the same time, I know at least two people whose mothers are in the hospital, and a third person whose friend was just diagnosed with cancer.

These things, while painful, remind us about how precious life is. When things are rough it is easy to point to something causing our hurt and suffering. But even when things are good, we often wonder if there is something more, something deeper that we’re missing. Then, even the good things don’t allow us to live with joy.

I’m sure we can come up with a million and three ideas behind the purpose of life, but we never really know how long we have here. Ultimately life is a vehicle of our self-expression and the best thing you can do is live it and count each moment with someone you love as the precious gift it is.

Moment of silence,
Kaye