Falling in Love
Well, falling is great for a Yo-yo.. but for a modern woman?
I think anyone who has seen me and my boyfriend, Christian, would be quick to say that we’re pretty romantic. We’ve been accused of almost being too cute. So, I don’t think it’s an anti-romance, cynical streak that has me up against the phrase. No, I think it’s more about the actual words.
A) Fall:
–verb
1. to drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support.
2. to come or drop down suddenly to a lower position, esp. to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not.
3. to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, number, etc.; decline.
4. to subside or abate.
Wow. None of that is terribly appealing, unless I’m bungee jumping, or yes.. playing with a Yo-Yo.
B) Love
–noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
So, while love isn’t exactly like math… according to the dictionary, literally, I can take definition A4+B4, and get: to experience subsiding or abating towards a person to whom love is felt. Or A1+B1= I can drop or descend under the force of gravity, as to a lower place through loss or lack of support in a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Now.. when you put it that way, doesn’t sound so appealing does it? I’d rather just stick with… Love, or at least, experiencing a loving way of relating.. since “relationship” is:
–noun
1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.
Makes ya think, huh?
I think the notion of “falling for” someone, or “falling in” love expresses that sense of feelings beyond your control. When you meet someone special and despite your fears, worries, insecurities, practical obstacles such as them being married to someone else, or unacceptable to your family, or even if you know they are bad for you – and yet you cannot help but be attracted to them, you are compelled despite rational or irrational complications to be near them.
A fall is an uncontrolled decent, and the initial stages of love are often like that – not so much about being lower, as that thrill of freefalling into unknown potential. Like skydiving, falling in love is scary, yet exciting.
That’s how I’ve always interpreted it.
:)
I love the way you phrase it: “you are compelled despite rational or irrational complications to be near them.”
Which is one of the reasons I was motivated to write this post. We often talk about wanting to fall in love, but when we take a look at it, do we REALLY want to be in that crazy-making place where we make choices that aren’t good for us, because of this driving chemical force?
This isn’t to say that being in love, or love is bad.. its mostly to raise awareness that we can have these powerful “falling” feelings, for people who really aren’t good for us.. and be blinded to a quieter flow, (with great peaks) for people who do fit with the future we want to create.
T-shirt/bumper sticker slogan:
“Maybe if it were more clearly marked people wouldn’t fall in love so much.”
;-)
*grins* Caution — falling love? ;)