Flourishing Today

Sometimes, flourishing is like learning to drive..

A question from Formspring:
I am so not flourishing… (in spite of my best efforts!) what can I do?

Thanks for your question!

Flourishing is a commitment, that starts with taking small steps starting with where you’re at, gradually moving forward, and finding people in your life who will support the changes you’re choosing to make. That doesn’t mean that it is always easy, or that the positive changes are immediately obvious. There are lots of reasons why our path might get side-tracked, slowed down, or hung up.

To use a metaphor: Imagine (or remember) learning to drive — when you first start, it feels like a mess. We’re jerking on the wheel, slamming the breaks, punching the gas, and drifting all over the road.

- If you have history of people in your life who aren’t/haven’t been supporting your growth; it’s like having a negative teacher telling you the whole time “you’ll never learn to drive, what the hell were you thinking??”

- If you’re jumping around without steady actions towards change; it’s like switching cars over and over and over while in the middle of the learning process. You never get good enough at driving because you’re constantly changing cars.

- If you’re expecting to be perfect straight out of the gate; you’ll never give yourself the time and effort to get good because you’ll fear there is something wrong with you and give up too soon, when the truth is you’re fine and are having a perfectly normal experience.

- If you’re not putting your attention on where you’re going and constantly focused on everything else or what could go wrong; your car will be drifting all over the road, or worse ending you up in the trees. If you’re TOO focused on what could go wrong you’ll never even make it out of the driveway.

I don’t know where you’re at right now, or what you’ve tried in the past, but take some time to clearly identify what flourishing means to you, what it looks like and how you’ll know you’ve achieved it. Then, if you haven’t already, identify some steps you can make right now that will bring about the big picture changes you’re looking for. Remember to give yourself some positive credit for things you HAVE done well in the past. You might not have the results you want, right now.. but obviously you have done some things right, otherwise you wouldn’t have had the courage to reach out, find support and keep moving forward.

Good luck!
Kaye

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“Practical tools, for positive change”
Kaye Porter CHT, CNLP

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