Stress for the Holidays? 3 tips to help you, make it through.
Already feeling stressed out? (photo by BLW Photography- under Creative Commons)
The Holidays are the perfect time to observe the polarity of humanity. People love them, or they hate them. Or they love the idea of them, but then spend the time being stressed out, pissed off, and overwhelmed.
And as therapist and collaborative strategest Dena Plotkin points out: it’s a perfect time to remember, you can’t please everybody.
Everybody is pre-loaded and ready to blow. They’re remembering years of holidays with families & friends. They’re remembering the good times, and the times they’re paying a therapist to recover from. They’re feeling pressured by an invisible critical psycho/ego that lives in their head, about shopping, cooking, cleaning, scheduling, organizing, planning, and executing. They’re mapping out their plan, or they’re freaked out because they don’t have a plan. They’re down because they don’t have a lot of options, or they’re overwhelmed because they have too many options, and no one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. And then feelings get hurt anyway.
Man plans, god laughs.
I wish I had a magic bullet to solve holiday stress. I don’t, but I have some tips:
1) Don’t assume it’s personal. Mistakes are going to happen, things are going to get dropped, and it’s going to seem like a world of misbehaving people. Don’t assume it’s about you. Assume there is a good reason. There is some plane of reality where what ever happened, was totally reasonable and understandable. Taking things personally during the holidays is a straight shot to a season of suffering and hurt.
2) Be nice to yourself. Yes, you could do absolutely EVERYTHING “right” and still have things explode. You could have crossed every “t” and dotted every “i” and still have things call apart. Working yourself up into a frenzy isn’t going to help you be more functional, organized, ‘together’, or ‘on top of things.’
If you have a To-Do list, find what is going to give you the most leverage and tackle those pieces. Identify the top priorities and stick to those. You don’t have to be super man/woman. The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, caring and gratitude. Make sure you get some of that good lovin’!
3) Remember, you’re not alone. Life will go on. No matter what culture you’re from, there are billions of people feeling the same way you are. This is one reason the holidays are great for the alcohol, therapy and personal development industry. But don’t fall into the ego trap of “terminal aloneness.” This too shall pass and there are a lot of people passing through it.
If you hate the holidays? Don’t BS behind a happy smile. Trying to put on a fake happy face is just going to increase the loneliness. You don’t have to unload the last 20 years of why the holidays are hard every time someone ask you how you’re doing… Nor should you turn it into a venomous diatribe to spread a Grinch’s gloom. But, if you know it’s a bad time for you, ask for help and let your friends know it’s a hard time of year. Letting them know you’re going to be real about where you’re at gives those who feel the same way a chance to connect. The people who can’t handle it will sort themselves out and avoid you, which is a gift for both you and them.
What are some things you do to help you through the season?
You deserve a round of applause for your post along with specifically, your website in general. Very good quality material.
Thank you! I hope it helps :)
Also, thank you for your compliments on my site, it’s a pleasure to have you here and thank you for your comments! It’s always good to hear what’s working for people as I write.
Warmly,
Kaye