China isn’t the only one with a wall..
…theirs is just more visible!
Dear Friend,
This is going to be a two part article: I recently got a question about how to live without walls. As someone who lived most of her life with walls that would have made Berlin proud, I get it. And I get how hard and scary it can be, both within the walls – afraid I’d never make it out – and making those first steps outside – because what if I got hurt? It took me several years of work on top of my professional training, and narrowly surviving a car accident to get to where I could put down my walls.
Luckily, you can avoid all that.
Some people never get even as far as wondering.
There is truth in the saying what we resist, persists. Accept you have walls. From my studies, I’m pretty sure everyone has walls. Some people just have more choice about when they use the walls. Accept that you have walls. Forgive yourself, if need be. They are there for a reason. Every behavior we have, originally started to meet a need. Walls are often about creating safety for survival. Take a moment and go inside. Get in touch with those walls. Thank them. Thank what ever unconscious part of you that kept those walls going — because chances are it believes it has been saving your life. Maybe it even has.
So I have a couple of questions it will be helpful for you to answer for yourself between this week and next week. Write down the answers if you can, and be a specific as possible:
- What is the problem? What is the opportunity here?
- Why am I choosing to make this change? What will this do/get for me? How is it worth it?
- Are there times when it is appropriate for me to have walls? With others? With my children?
- When are those times? How will I know?
- Now, how will I know when I am free of this old problem? What will I see? Hear? Feel?
Next week, tools!
Keepin it going..
Kaye
