It starts with the numbers.
Dear Friend,
Dating can be one of the hardest times when it comes to remembering who you are. Because there you are, sitting across the table with this new person, wondering if you’re a match. Does she want kids? Will he accept you even on your bad days? How will the two of you handle any *gasp* future problems? Do you lay all the cards on the table in the first hour… or over time?
We forget, that dating is a numbers game. Only recently did “dating” even become a moderate form of commitment in some people’s minds. Is dating more than one person even OK anymore? Early memories of my dad explaining to me the differences between dating, going steady, and getting married. Dating, was expected to include more than one person. THEN you’d narrow it down to the one you go steady with.
Alison Armstrong, founder of Pax, points out that when she talks to women, they’ll say they never dated; they just go from relationship to relationship. I’ve done it myself. And it is pretty easy to do, especially if there is fear around being alone. That doubles the push to find the security of a relationship as soon as possible. Half the time, we’re not even sure we like the guy, and yet so many of us are driven.
But when it comes down to it; dating is a numbers game. You might find the best person after 2 dates with 2 people. Most of us take more than one date, with more than one person before we can find who we resonate with. And easier if give yourself permission to date… and even more satisfying with upfront commitment to being yourself.
Because how else would they know to love you?
This is helpful to remember. Thank you.