Perfection Strikes Again.
I was recently reading an article that my friend Heather pointed me towards, about Happiness and Economics. Several points stuck for me, the one I’m going to talk about here? Our need, as women, to be perfect and how it ravages our ability to be happy.
In the 1960s, options were relatively limited. Women could be great mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, girlfriends.. we could keep house and pursue limited types of work. We could raise families and keep gardens, but when it came to defining success, we really only had one avenue of status and success – who are spouses were, how many children we had, how long we’d been married, and the status of our children. She, with a doctor for a husband, who has been married for 40 years, and has three kids who are all successful professionals, with lots of grandchildren.. won.
Today, we still have all those unconscious “shoulds” running around our heads: I should be able to keep my house clean, my husband satisfied, my social life navigated, my checkbook balanced, my children taken care of, and my garden weed-less (and organic!). On top of that, we’re expecting ourselves to be flawless producers as well: I should be able to do all of THAT plus, manage a vertically climbing career, compete with my colleagues, inspire leadership, take decisive action (but not be too bitchy), and make at LEAST a high 6-figures (depending on where I live). I’m also supposed to have satisfying hobbies that generate passive income and be an artfully polished, gym-going size 4.
Talk about the fast track to collapse. We get so spun up about thinking we need to be perfect, just to survive.. it’s no wonder our health, lives, and relationships are collapsing around us. No human can be expected to sustain such driving levels of perfection and while comparing ourselves to some unrealistic ideal.
Stop.
There is only one of you, male or female. You weren’t put on this planet to be perfect. You were put on this planet to give what only you can give. If that means a tidy little garden, that’s great. If a 6-figure career makes you happy, awesome. But start with something simple… like a good night’s rest before you wear yourself into exhaustion. Then we’ll work in perfection!
